Last year we provided a quote for our Christmas VIP client, we were very disappointed that it wasn’t accepted and we didn’t get the work. Apparently, another cleaning company had offered a fully automated service utilising a high tech robotic based solution at a cheaper price.
However, we were, to our surprise, asked to quote again this year and were successful! Given that we had had little contact with the client over the previous 2 years we thought it prudent to have a pre-contract meeting to discuss the way forward and any performance expectations.
The meeting didn’t go quite how we expected, our client spent the whole time talking about the disaster that was last year’s robotic solution. He had a lot to say and certainly wasn’t very merry about it, not a single Yo! Ho! Ho!
Here’s some stuff he mentioned:
The robot pooper scoopers in the stable were trying to put the poop back where it originated from, the stable inhabitants were very red nosed about it!!
In the packaging department someone had attempted to flush 3 tons of wrapping paper offcuts down the loo, causing a flood which made 13,000 toy boats sail out the main doors. Cleaning machines diverted to mopping up from vacuuming candy cane crumbs resulted in 124 Elf and Safety incidents.
Whilst all this was going on, up on the 14th floor in the letters department; [sub-department PO (Pink envelopes – Opening)], a spillage of fairy dust collected from sub-department BR (Blue envelopes – Replies) resulted in inter-departmental fairy dust cross contamination. This impacted Grade C,D & E staff culminating in a 2 hour stoppage and threats from the shop steward of possible work to rule action. Industrial action was only avoided when the big man himself went in to mediate and gave each worker a cuddle, soft toy and a new pointy hat – all 4200 of them!!
The final straw came when the ‘scrub-a-dub-dub-all-go-gobots’ got into the Lady of the house’s kitchen! Not only did they pick up all the cookies meant for the staff end of year party (4.7 tons) and put them out with the rubbish (apparently the bots thought the chocolate chips were flies), they scrubbed the skins off of a pile of carrots destined for the sleigh engine crew, who have a serious preference for carrots skin on!!
So, it just goes to show, there’s a time and place for mechanised cleaners (like a car wash maybe) but you’ll only get care, consideration and attention to detail from real people.
I think we could persuade Mr S to sign up for a long term contract.